Saturday, May 29, 2010

Au Revoir Papa

Under the big willow tree
In the middle of the jungle
Joudy sat writing in her journal
Facing the lake
Admiring the green
She wrote

Hello baba
I always hated you
But now i miss you
Its been 21 years and just a week ago my mother told me that you would die
Really, the first thing i thought about was that i cant travel this summer
And i regret not knowing you
They say you are a big shot but not in my eyes
You were mean and you hit my mother
You were never there for me

Now the real question is why do i want you back?
Why do i miss you?
Why dont i HATE you anymore?

I wish you could forgive me
I want to be able to go to heaven
Thats allI wish i could say i love you
Unfortunately i dont
And i dont want you

Now that everything is out of my system
Ill continue on living
See you in the after world :)

Joudy formed a smile on her face
She is now calm and happy
Closed her journal
Got up
Went for a walk
A long long walk
Deep down she missed him
But she didnt want to admit it
She kept her feelings aside
And continued walking
Heading to her cottage
Where her mother was grieving
She smiled along the way but her eyes were filled with tears

Joudy was confused
But she didnt show it

She wiped her tears away
And entered the cottage

Friday, May 21, 2010

five long days...

Remember five days ago when u told me it was just a bad dream and both of us should get some rest?
Remember when u promised that u will fight this and get better than ever?
Remember when you said that we wont have the death talk because we dont trust drs and well grow old together and our children will marry each other?
I remember
And u dont
U know why because ur not awake ok??!!!
I hate u now because you left me alone in this scary world
U left me the five days i needed u the most
Why did u do that?
Did i do something wrong?
Do u know hes still sleeping?
Do u know she just went in the hospital?
Do u know she wants a divorce?
Do you know he thought she stayed at his house because he thought there was no one?
Do u know he got into the hospital because of the shocking news?
Ofcourse u dont!
U dont know anything lana u left me here
Sitting in the corner of my room crying in the dark
All alone
I have no one u made me open up
And now u leave
Lucky you at least you get to rest
I have one question for you...
When will you wake up??!
I hate knowing that ur in the place u are, ok?!!!
I hate it!!
U said u cared!
Well it seems that u dont!
U promised me u will be ok
U promised me that ull talk to me the day after
But then u simply leave
I have so much to tell you
I know its been a short period of time
But you are my best friend, my sister
I miss you
I love you
Please wake up
Please come back
Please get well

Thursday, May 20, 2010


i dont know if im back bas it seems as if i have no other place to express what i want illa here
it wont be stories bas daily ramblings i guess
hello ppl :)