Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Love and Hate

I hate that thing about you
I hate the impact you have on me
I hate it
But I don't know why I can't hate you



You know
I don't even know if I love you
Do I love you?
But I hate that thing
Something that could decide my love or hate towards you


When it comes to you I simply get mixed feelings
Love
Hate
Passion
Craze
Friendship
Loyalty

The problem here is that the first feeling I get when it comes to you is love
Because I LOVE YOU
Then again I remember all these things and I hate you


See I don't hate you, unfortunately I do love you

Why?
Can you give me a reason please.

Is it the way you talk
Or the way you act
Or what exactly?


So I am here writing you this letter
Asking myself something
I need to understand myself when it comes to you
So I can decide on whether I want to hate you or not


You are a good memory that's true

But what you left is killing me

You are a dishonest man

Yes I have lied
But I admit that I lied

You
You on the other hand
won't
can't admit
that you are


A
L
I
E
R

A conniving basterd
A cheat
A womanizer

And you call yourself a man
No no no, you call yourself an educated; open minded man
Honey you are everything but that


Hell I heard you are trustworthy
Well kiss my sweet a**

You have promised me
You promised me a simple thing


And you broke it
Just like that


And that's what ended my feelings towards you
Every single feeling
Except one which is hate

Yes, thank god

Now I could look at myself in the mirror and say that I hate X al X with a happy smile

Smile of releif
Honesty
And love

Yes, as you are reading this letter
I wish you the worst of luck
Just like what you did to me
I wish someone who has the guts to break your promise
And leak a piece of information about you
Information that could destroy you
Your career
Your love

I have kept so much and heard much more

They say "irayal shayil 3aiba"
Baby I want you to face God on judgement day and say those specified three words
I want to hear what god is going to say
Or do

I don't want to see it

Because a good hearted person like me wouldn't want too
Now that I am clear with my feelings towards you









I wish myself a happy stress free life



ps. this is not about my hubby, its a random post
love you;***

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

when will u write about u and ya3goub? i really miss the story!! but i also love the random posts they seem so intresting :p

FMA said...

I have always been thinking if I marry a guy like this;/
the question is, what will be my response?
Get a divorse? But what if I have kids?
Do I talk to him? Or just ignore his presence?

I liked this post, it's soo true.

Anonymous said...

monwa a7biiiich o a7ib ur writing i loved u through ur writing and im sure a great person as well oo allah i5alilich ur hubby
luvich;****
G*

Anonymous said...

el random posts ellii u write 3ajeeebeeeeeen mashallaah..bass the thing is kelhom you9loon 7ag nafs el shaay..ya3nii 9iij ena ba3a'6hom different 3an ba3a'6..bass still a7iss bel nahaya el ma3naa wa7ed aw el maghza wa7ed, w chenna you're talking about the same thing or person..3ashan chethii i'm doubting enhom random..
hehe 7assait ma 3endii salfaa ;$ bass madrii laish i felt like commenting ma3anna this is the first time ;p..LOVE U ;** oo thnx 3al AMAIZING blog..mashallah 9iij you're talented ;*

F;* said...

so much tension , feelings , emotion , love , and obviously hate in this post. confusing , but yet amazing , thats what makes you an awesome writer! you just write and write , and by the end of the poem , it all snuggle up into a big bunch of ONE feeling , which makes it an breathtaking " post " exactly like you , you are as what they say , breathtaking , i honestly love your posts!
a7ibiich ;**

Monwa said...

anon: inshalla today sorry 6awalt
hehe thanks


N: allah layablich hal youm inshala