Tuesday, June 22, 2010

At2asaf likum :$

Hi *hides face*
adre i promised oo i never keep my promises i wrote the post minziman bas the beginning ma3rf shaktib so its half of a half :s walllaa and the husband rija3 from a roadtrip i think one month mashifta so i miss him and my baby bilq8 oo 6a7 3ala wayhaa :'( adre drama queen bas jad i miss my son

Visit this blog! 3ajeeeb! Her ramblings iwansoon :)

ps im working on the post i swear

Sunday, June 13, 2010

I... Sharon... The Nanny... *4A*

It's been exactly a year since his father has passed away. A year of him being a father to four; a year of him all alone in this world.

He finally decided to face his mother. He missed her yet he hated her at the same time. She never attended school plays. Never went to parent teacher conferences. Never checked on their homework. He was the only child that knew everything. He knew she would stay all day on the
rocking chair. Every night she would get out of the house and stand in the place of the accident and cry. And all he did was make excuses for her absence.

As he was walking up to her room he held a brown envelope. He hesitated to enter but after a few moments of thinking he finally did.


No answer, she ignored him continued on reading her novel on her favorite rocking chair.



"Mama abe akalmich"

"ana mo omik wala om ay a7ad thane!"

"lai mita are you going to stay like this"

"lawsama7t i6la3 bara!!"

"tara ohwa kan obona ba3ad"

"agoolik i6la3 bara"

"7ather" he said as he approached her put the brown envelope on her lap; "yimkin omy matat ba3ad ilsina ily fatat"

Her tears fell silently right after she heard him close the door. She opened the envelope and there was a letter.

It wrote:

Dear Mama,

Its been exactly a year since baba passed away. A year since I felt like a child. A year being a parent for four. A year since I last cried. And finally a year since you have been our mother. I didn't know that that day we were going to loose you too. If you only told it would make it easier for me to answer all those who ask. You are not the only one who lost him. We did to. You think I don't know that every night at 1:47 you head out of the house and stand there crying your heart out. Anyways just wanted to tell you it was nice having you as a mother. But from now on you are dead to me and my brothers and sisters. Don't ever think of coming back to us I will never forgive you.


Her tears fell silently. She folded the letter and put it back in the envelope. She then felt other pieces of paper took them out. It were pictures of her children. The twin's graduation. '3azi in a school concert. And lastly Lama on the swings. No picture for Suleiman.

From that moment she tried getting better. She would peak from the window, looking at them from far running around in the garden. Suleiman took really good care of them. True, I had helped him. But he did most of the work. That summer I was going back for a vacation; but I couldn't leave them all alone.

Part B later today :)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I... Sharon... The Nanny... *3*

"Suleiman this is not a joke!... Roo7 nadlee obok!"

"Mama! Bas! Baba ra7 3ind Allah"

"latgool chithe! Baba bara roo7 nadlee iya"

"intay ro7ai nadeee! Golela 5al yirja3! Abe akalmaa! Abe asolif wiya!"
first time in his life he had raised his voice, let alone at his mother.

She furiously got up and pulled Suleiman with her. She was weak but just for Mr. Rakan she was stronger.

"inta mat3ale 9otik 3ala omik sima3t! Oo foug hatha itchathib! Ana shino ily rabaitk 3alai?" she held his hand aggressively, he was hurt physically and emotionally but still he didn't shed a single tear.

As soon as they got out of the room; Mr. Fahad motioned for me to follow them. I left the quite room and headed to the corridor where her screams filled the empty space.

"Rakaaan... Rakan 7abebe gi3dt.. Ta3al shoof wildik i3alee 9ota"she stopped screaming and looked down at her brother sitting on the chair. "a7mad shfeek tabche?...
Mo gitlik itnadee rayle?"

"ee giltay" he replied in a sad voice


"ra7 ya haya ra7"

She did something no one expected her to do.

She slapped him. "chub! Latfawil 3ala rayle!" her grip became stronger. She pulled her son with her. "Dr. wain Rakan Sulaiman Al X"

"intee meen ya madame? 3afwan 3an il so2al"

"ana murta"

"tfa'6ale ya madame" she entered furiously didn't hear what he said after that, she pulled Suleiman with her. He closed his eyes. She didn't read the label on the room.

I waited outside. The dr had said, "ilba2iya ib 3omrik"

All of a sudden, "aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh..... Rakaaaan... Raakaaaaan... Smila 3alaik 7abebe its ok.. Its ok baby.. You will heal 7abebe yalla two weeks max oo ni6la3 min il mustashfa.... Yalla 7ayati mita tgoom"

I entered after that.

"yalla rakaan" she moved him attempting to wake him up.
as soon as Suleiman felt the door opening he came running to me. "rakaaaaan" she hit his semi-burnt chest, "goum 5ara 3alaaaaik.. Goum rakan!" she became quite for a second. "yalla mama yalla 7ayati I miss you.. Inta you promised me... Don't break your promise! Laish tgolee
shay you cant promise! Mayseer! Ig3ad 3ashani! Law sama7t... Rakan please.. Wala ana ta3bana baba.. Abe anam ib 7ithnik... I miss you 7abebe.." she stopped talking turned around and looked at me. "why are you crying?! Hell heal and get better.. Its ok I like him this way..
You don't need to cry.. I love my rakan in any way.. He's just sleeping.. Tired maybe; Sharon you take Suleiman and go home ill stay here and wait till he wakes up"

That's when the tears started streaming down my face. I didn't know what to do. I simply did as told and left the room.

She stayed inside. Suleiman was still strong. He didn't cry yet he just dug his face in my shirt. He covered his ears to lessen the strong sound of his mother's screaming.

We left home. All the children were waiting next to the door.

"wain mama?" "wain baba?" "baba waina?" "wain mama??" "lazim iyoon bacher our graduation!" the twins were asking us questions

I didn't reply. Suleiman on the other hand was strong. He replied, "yalla imshaw my room, kilna well sleep in my room oo agolikum wainhum ok?"

"Ok!!!" '3azi screamed, he loved his eldest brother.

They all went to Suleiman's room. Lama woke up for a while but she was asleep before we arrived home. But he told me to bring her and the crib to his room. They sat in a circle and '3azi sat on Suleiman's lap.

"yalla tell us what happened?" screamed the twins.

"ok mo9a7 i7na inkoon babies lama we get born mithil lamooya?"

"eeee" they all screamed

"quietly.. Lama sleeping" he replied

"ohh kay" they whispered

"oo ba3dain mo9a7 n9eer kbar oo we become big?"

"eeeh" they whispered

"inzain oo lama nikbar mo nroo7 3ind allah later cuz i7na kbar?"

"ya3ni nmoot?" 3abdalla asked

"ee nitwafa" Suleiman replied

"inzain, i7na shakoo; wain mama oo baba" reema added

"ana agolikum, mo97 mama oo baba 6li3aw today?"


"ok... I7im.... Lama nitwafa hatha allah he puts a time for us lazim he takes us from this world 97?"


"ok baba ilyoum 9ar his time, baba ra7 3ind allah"

"waain baba?" '3azi asked

"baba he went upppp the sky he went to a better place it was his time to leave '3azoi"

"ana abe aroo7 wiya saloomi"

"la lama i9eer your time troo7 ok?"


Reema and 3abdalla looked at him with a blank face

"ya3ni al7een bas 3ibdina one parent?" Reema asked

"ee reema, bas maninsa baba"

"bas mako baba anymore?"

"la mako"

"3abood 9rna nafs thary"

"ee" 3abdalla replied

"yalla inam?" Suleiman asked

"ok" they all replied.

They slept next to Suleiman. He held on tight. He was very strong. His face, his thinking, his behavior matured in so little hours.

The next day came, Suleiman didn't know what to do. He wanted to take his twin siblings to the graduation but he wanted to attend his fathers burial.
He came to me and said, "Sharon please take the twins to there graduation, I will go to baba's burial then come to you; call 5alti Huda tell her she has to go to the graduation"

I did as I was told. But he couldn't make it to the graduation. He was still in the grave yard.

We came home. The house was filled with black. Everyone came to console Mrs. Haya. Her face was yellow, she had red puffy eyes there were no more tears in her eyes. She was out of water. She was looking at the people with a blank face. It showed she wasn't taking in what is
around her. As soon as she realized the color that was surrounding her. She gave them a weak smile and got up. She walked to their room which is now hers only.

Christi and Julie were with the children. I was with Mrs. Haya. She took of her Abaya and threw it on the floor. She went to her bed and broke down right there. She couldn't breathe easily.

I tried soothing her down.

But all she said was " he promised me Sharon he promised and broke his promise seconds later" or "I cant live without him, we've been through a lot these past 14 years I don't know what to do".

She changed into his jersey shirt, put on his perfume, laid down on his side of the bed.

"Sharon I want to sleep please may you turn off the lights and leave"

"yes ma'am" I said as I left the room


At about 7pm Suleiman came back he was welcomed with a warm hug from his younger brothers.

"slaaaimaan ilyoum kan wanasaa auntie huda wiya 3yalha yolina il gradutation, kil man shaja3na; christe, oo sharoon oo ma7moudo" said 3abdalla with a wide smile

"7asafa mayeet"

"ee 3adi rayoom oo ana nifham laish lana i7na kbar now"

"ee 9rtaw kbaar, t3ashaitaw wala tan6rooni?"


"yalla mako a7ad now taboon MacDonald's"

"eeee" they all screamed

That's how it was for the next two days

Mrs. Haya didn't attend the funeral

Suleiman was responsible for his siblings.

A week passed
A month past
Finally a year passed

And nothing had changed. She became weaker and less responsible, where Suleiman became the man of the house; stronger more responsible.

Lama forgot about her mom; '3azi thinks his mom is out of town; and as for the twins they lived their life.

Until one day Suleiman got fed up and went to talk to his mom....

Sunday, June 6, 2010

I... Sharon... The Nanny... *2*

"hehehe.. Sharon nooo. A9lan he told me he will never do such things"

"how do you know tomorrow is Monday.... After the graduation of reema and 3aboody hell take you"

"la matwaqa3.. He knows I cant leave lamooya and '3azoy here all alone"

"they are not I'm here, its only 2, 3 days"

"madre well see"

"hayaween baba wainich?"

"kani 7abebe bas azahib akil lamoya"

"yalla na6renich 3ala ilryoog"

"kani kani" she sat on the chair on her right was '3azi and on her left was lama in a baby chair. The twins sat across from her. Rakan at the head of the table, Suleiman at the end of the table.

"7abebe bacher at 9 graduation, ok?"

"yah 3ayal bansa graduation il 7ilween hathoola, ish3alaik '3azooi bit9er ib middle school, 3ad i5th 3agl il banat haa"

"Rakaan! Wildik chithe it3alma?!"

"3ayal shagoola, lazim min al7een yit3alam i3amil il banat; ha saloom 97 kalamy wala la?"

"la '3ala6"

"waiiih int 6la3t mithil omik, tikana"

They all start laughing


"3yoon baba" Rakan said carrying lama from her chair

"Rakan ma5ali9at" Haya said

Lama gave her dad a hug and a kiss filled with her slobber

"lamooyaa baba al7een aroo7 ilijtma3 kil sa3abelich il 7ilwaa" he faked a frown

"hehehehehehehehe.... Wooooooovvv uuu wayiiith" lama said shyly

"yala mama 5ala9taw?"

"eeee" they all screamed! They didn't wait for her; left there plates kissed there parents goodbye and ran down the stairs to the car.

Christie followed them. They were going to Mrs. Huda's house to swim with her two sons.

"Sharoooon" said Mr. Rakan

"yes sir?"

"ta3alay i5thay lamoy clean her up"

"yes sir" I took lama to get her ready she was leaving her mother.


"wa2a5eeran 9rna broo7na"

"rakaan bas il5adam ishofoona al7een"

"oo ya3ni! Mo murti kaifi. Ta3alai gi3dai ib 7thnee"

"t3afas dishdashtik"

"5eir ya6air ako '3airha tarseen il kabat! Intay makoo '3airich"



"heeey! Lat3ayib"

"ma3ayabt giltay ray gilt hay"


"hala 7obi"

"wain binroo7 ilyoum?"


"madre a7is ako shay special"

"laish ilthiqa mako shay special"






"kish5eelee baba, abeech ilyoum"




"a7ibich haya"

"ana a7ibik akthar"

Suddenly his voice became lower "garbay"

She sat closer, he lifted her head "a7ib shifayfich il wardiya"

Her cheeks reddened

"a7ibich lai sta7aitay"

She didn't say a word

"a7ib nafse lanich ib 7ayati oo om 3yali"

She was paralyzed
He kissed her
Every morning he would do that
For 14 years since she was 18 he would do that

They were a happy couple, they loved each other, they loved people, they envied no one; they cared less of the world and more of each other.

She leaned her head on his shoulder, he hugged her.

"7abebti ta3bana?"

"shwaya bas"

"namai baba"

"bas baroo7 3ind mama oo bawade lamooya tisba7 ma3a il yahal; mithlik itmoot 3ala il may"

"hehe shiqil 3adil banati mo li3ib, baba bas namay ib7thne 15 mins oo ingoom; mashi?"


She dozed off, he then carried her to bed and covered her with the blanket. He quietly walked in the closet and changed his dishdasha.

He then came to me and said "keep the phone next to you, ill give you a call and ill wake up Madame Haya ok?"

"yes sir, sir the driver is waiting down stairs"

"ok thanks"

And after an hour exactly Mr. Rakan called

"halla Sharon"

"hello sir"

"where is haya?"

"one moment sir" "Julieee! Come sit with lama please"

Julie came and I went in there room, knocked the door no one answered so I went to Mrs. Haya.

"Madame.. Madame"


"Mr. Rakan wants you"

"alloo.... Baby ilsa3a cham?...... 3ashir!.... Rakaan.... Ok ok.... Baroo7 3ind mama shway then ill go to Huda's.... Emm... Wat time tonight?... Ee lazim.. Aroo7 ib ily albisa wiyak?... Ok 5?.... Ok 7ayati.. Rabi i7athik... Ma3asalama... A7ibik"


"yes ma'am?"

"Lama's ready?"


"ok please before you leave take my flowery blue chiffon dress oo put bi5oor, oo please I want a tracksuit and shoes for now"

"sure ma'am"

"waii ta3banaa!"

Everything was set, all ready. Mrs. Haya left with Lama.

At about 3:30 they all came back the children went to take a shower because they already ate, but Mrs. Haya got the lunch ready.

We set the table for two, the children went to sleep, Mr. Rakan came from work.

"asalamu 3alaikum"

"ahlan" she said

They ate lunch, they changed, and left the house. Every two hours they would call and check on the children.

It was 10pm and 3abood was fast asleep so was '3azi and reema.

"Saloomi you need to sleep"

"mabi ban6r omi oo obi"

"Suleiman, its 10"

"3adi no school bacher"

I stayed quite, and after 10 mins he was fast asleep. At about 10:30 lama slept too. Every Sunday they would sleep in the play room so when Mr Rakan and Mrs Haya would comeback they would carry them to there rooms'. They would usually be here at about 11, 11:30; but tonight they took a long time.

It was 12 am still not here
One hour passed and they were still out; I hope they are just having fun.
I started to worry, ill wait another15 mins and ill give them a call

I cant wait, I slowly put lama in her baby crib and went to search for the house phone in the room. 2 mins later I heard a lound sound, it sounded like a car crash; maybe its one of the teenager boys in the neighborhood. I thought. So i continued on walking; looking for the telephone.

"Rakaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnn.......... Rakaaaaaaaaaaaaannnn"

My heart fell; in a split second i found myself out the gate looking at her screaming like a maniac. The car was burning he was unconscious in the car. His side was damaged, anyone who would see this would think the person inside is already dead.

"Rakaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnn" was all she screamed.

Mahmoud pulled her back; "ya Madame.. Ya Madame"

"wa5r 3aniiiiii 5ara 3alaaaik rayleee... Wa555r!!!.... Abe rayleee.... Rakaaaaaaannn"

The car was burning slowly Suleiman tried to go to his father; he saw the whole thing habibi.. He was only 12 years old and he had to see his dad burn slowly. Hameed was trying to get him out. He couldn't.

"rakaaaaaann..... Aaaaaaahh rakan 7abebe please goom"

"ya Madame.. Hadee balik ya madame"

"abe raylii" she cried weakly.

That's when she fell; she was unconscious. Suleiman stood there his tears falling silently.

"baby... Do you want to go inside?"

He simply nodded his head in disapproval.

Hamed stood next to Suleiman. That's when the Fire men came, they quickly took down the fire. At that time we had hope, I personally did. I waited anxiously. The ambulance came seconds later. They took Mr. Rakan, and Mahmud carried Mrs. Haya to the car. I headed to the car and Julie had come to take Suleiman. He pushed her away and said, "wa5rai baroo7 wiyahum".

We didn't argue, after all they're his parents.

I sat at the back; Mrs. Haya was laying down still unconscious. Suleiman was in the passengers seat, and Mahmud was driving. The ride to the hospital was silent. That's when I realized what had just happened. I cried silently. The scene was the scariest thing I have seen. I wanted to stop replaying it; but that's what I only did.


Mahmoud pulling her back; "ya Madame.. Ya Madame"

"wa5r 3aniiiiii 5ara 3alaaaik rayleee... Wa555r!!!.... Abe rayleee.... Rakaaaaaaannn"

"rakaaaaaann..... Aaaaaaahh rakan 7abebe please goom"

"ya madame.. Hadee balik ya madame"

"abe raylii"

The car slowly burning.....
Suleiman silently crying....
The sound of the car crash...
The car slowly burning.....
Suleiman silently crying....
The sound of the car crash...

"wa5r 3aniiiiii 5ara 3alaaaik rayleee... Wa555r!!!.... Abe rayleee.... Rakaaaaaaannn"

The sound of the car crash...

And it kept replaying... I cried helplessly.... I prayed all the way.... I was lost.

We arrived at the hospital..
His brothers and father were there..
Her only brother too..

Mr. Rakan's youngest brother took Suleiman..
Mrs. Haya's brother carried her and ran into the hospital..
We soon followed and waited in the corridors..
Mrs. Haya didnt wake up.
Mr. Rakan was still in the operating room.

After half an hour or so the Dr. came out from the OR, and gave us the devastating news, news that would kill Mrs. Haya, news that no one ever expected so soon, they were news that told us the sweetest most generous honest man I have ever met is long gone. He has left this world for another human to come. I physically fell down to the floor crying. After that all was a blur to me, next thing I remember that I was in Mrs. Haya's room.

"rakan.. Rakaan" she repeated his name in a very low voice. My heart ached as I heard her say his name.

His fathers eyes got watery; "ra7 yuba ra7" he whispered back.

She didn't hear him, she looked around searching for her husband; "a7mad abi rayli waina... Nada please" she told her brother.

He looked at her with sad eyes, "36ach 3umra yuba"

She didn't hear him, "a7maad shfeek ga3id?..... Abe raylee... Roo7 nadlee rakan.. Gola gi3adt 5al iye ya5thne abee"

All of them started crying silently, except for Suleiman. He stood in the corner; looking at his mother. No one said a thing her brother left, he couldn't tell her. That's when Suleiman headed towards his mother. He sat on the bed next to her. Not a single tear fell.


"hala 7abebe.. Wain baba roo7 nada lee"

"Mama" he replied with a stern voice


"baba..." he paused

"shfee obok?"

"baba.. 36ach 3umra"

"shga3id t5arbi6!!"

"mama.. Baba tiwafa!"

Thursday, June 3, 2010

I... Sharon... The Nanny...

It has been twenty nine years living in this house
It was me who raised Suleiman
It was me who took Reema to school
It was me who helped 3aboody study for his test
It was me who woke up '3azi at dawn
It was me who made Lama breakfast in the morning

She would wake up every day at about 12 pm and have tea with her friends, or lunch with her husband, she never cared about them.
At least not after Mr. Rakan died. She didn't want anything to remind her of him.

All they did was remind her, that's when she decided to marry off to the first rich man who can provide them all their necessities. She made him build her another house next to them just because she had to be there.

She did everything to get out off this miserable life.
She attempted suicide in every possible way.

And no one was affected but her children. She gave Suleiman a big responsibility at age 12 when he couldn't even grieve over his own father.
She messed up there life. She didn't attend any of there graduations, she didn't celebrate any of their birthdays. She never read them a book at night after that night.

Every night she would go out of the house at 1:47am exactly to cry her heart out. She always wondered why didn't she leave with him?
Why was he the one who died?
Why wasn't she unconscious?
Why wasn't she burnt to death?

She loved that night she said, it was the perfect night. It was like every Sunday, "date night" is what they called it.
They loved each other oh so much.
He loved her like no tomorrow.
She cherished him as if he was the only soul in this planet.
Always, yes always they were always there for each other.

She was a great mother, and he was a great father as well.
They treated there children equally.
They did a superior parenting job.
They had a perfect marriage life.

But once he left

She was a dead body
A lifeless soul
A senseless person
Her body was functioning

But her thinking stopped on Monday dawn at 1:47 am
She wanted to move on
She really tried

Yet she failed
Because, because
That night he promised her something

That's what she said every Moring

"Sharon, he didn't keep his promise"

Heartbroken, is what she all is

She gave up on life
That’s why…
I had to be there for the children
I had to be their mother
I had to be their father
I had to be their friend
Yet my job was to be their nanny only

Hello my name is Sharon....

hey guys, i know i know gilt mako story bas after kil il events in my life im expressing them in a different matter u know so this is based on true events
il characcters mo real

oh and tell me if you like the beginning
plz comment with a gd or bad mola ayshay
3ashan if you like ill continue writing


It was a nice day; like any other
I had him, and it felt great he was my everything.
He loved me, until one day...

You showed up
You were perfect
Well mannered
Good job
Beautiful eyes
Beutiful everything
You were mr. Perfect
You were my dream guy come true

I loved you
I asked about you
I dreamt about you
You became my everything
But why would you know
Why would you care
I was just a random
You have the right
I agree
After all im taken


He knew
He still loved me, yet i loved you....